Anyway my new review is finally up. I wanted to get it up last night around midnight central, but Windows Movie Maker was acting up and I didn't get the video exported until this morning. Oh well, morning here is still nighttime on the west coast.
First it hung at 87%, so I suspected it was having problems with the MP3 towards the end of the video. I swapped it out for a wav, then it wouldn't export at all, giving me what looked like a very general error screen (files might be missing, perhaps not enough free space, etc.) I quit the program, reopened, opened the source file, and it saved.
I dunno.
Anyway, in addition to my Top Gun: The Second Mission review, enjoy the Irate Gamer's latest review on Indiana Jones & The Temple of Doom. Once again, his production values are through the roof.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Feel free to debate me on this.
Gunfever is still an idiot.
People are all "aaawe let's forgive him". No. You didn't have your pages spammed. You didn't have to restrict the people who could comment on your pages. You didn't have to waste time clearing his bullshit out from your accounts. And you weren't the subject of his stupid videos (Then again neither was I).
The guy spreads racist homophobia throughout the YouTube reviewing community, and then starts crying when the natural order of the internet lashes back and threatens to kill him. Has he never been on the internet before? If you act like an asshole long enough, you're going to attract people just like you who don't share your sentiment.
Course I never wished death upon him. I wished "Oh fuck off" on him. I don't care if his motives were true, or if he's just a stupid kid who wants to make friends. You don't do this sort of thing and then have the audacity to expect people to pardon you.
I can't shoot someone in the face and expect to walk on the charges because I had good intentions, can I?
He's the equivalent of a schoolyard bully. He talks shit, but he runs crying if you put up a fight.
In any event, the next video should be up within a few hours. Windows Movie Maker is taking it's sweet time exporting the video.
People are all "aaawe let's forgive him". No. You didn't have your pages spammed. You didn't have to restrict the people who could comment on your pages. You didn't have to waste time clearing his bullshit out from your accounts. And you weren't the subject of his stupid videos (Then again neither was I).
The guy spreads racist homophobia throughout the YouTube reviewing community, and then starts crying when the natural order of the internet lashes back and threatens to kill him. Has he never been on the internet before? If you act like an asshole long enough, you're going to attract people just like you who don't share your sentiment.
Course I never wished death upon him. I wished "Oh fuck off" on him. I don't care if his motives were true, or if he's just a stupid kid who wants to make friends. You don't do this sort of thing and then have the audacity to expect people to pardon you.
I can't shoot someone in the face and expect to walk on the charges because I had good intentions, can I?
He's the equivalent of a schoolyard bully. He talks shit, but he runs crying if you put up a fight.
In any event, the next video should be up within a few hours. Windows Movie Maker is taking it's sweet time exporting the video.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
A jovial laugh at that!
I didn't like the latest AVGN review. It's not entirely because I've never played any of the Simpsons NES games, but in olden days he could make me laugh at games I'd never played before.
But this post made me laugh. A jovial laugh at that. Yes, ScrewAttack, remove those videos which are your property! And while you're at it, remove the videos that aren't.
I've been thinking to do an actual rant to explain to people why I dislike them. Maybe this weekend. It won't be a Michael Moore ChangeYourOpinion Extravaganza, but I'll lay it out on the line, and while you don't have to agree, there'll be no grey area about my opinion of them.
But yeah, did not like the AVGN's latest review, I only chuckled once at the six minute mark, and maybe one other time. A lot of my fanbase seemed to share my sentiments. But as I read the thread for it at ScrewAttack, I was a little shocked at how many people loved it. Now I'm sure half of those were because they had suffered anguish at Bart vs. The Space Mutants and Bart vs. The World before, but I'm pretty sure the other half were just blind fanboys who love hearing "fuck, fuck, dookey, dogshit, diarehhia, X is my ass and Y is my balls" over and over.
But that's the difference between our fanbases, I guess. Mine seem to enjoy the more articulate (and sometimes positive) reviews I've been putting out as of late, and his likes swear words.
For what it's worth, his older videos (Pretty much anything Top Gun and backwards) are still great, and I do enjoy watching his console reviews (For the information value). He's just lost that lovin' feelin'. Man I hate it when he does that.
Tonight's feature: A look at Top Gun: The Second Mission. Is it bad? Is it good? Is it a good way to waste five minutes?
I played a pretty good round of Outbreak last night with two pros, The_Unbroken and VR_SOLDIER. This game was actually the reason I bought a PS2. Watch and enjoy.
But this post made me laugh. A jovial laugh at that. Yes, ScrewAttack, remove those videos which are your property! And while you're at it, remove the videos that aren't.
I've been thinking to do an actual rant to explain to people why I dislike them. Maybe this weekend. It won't be a Michael Moore ChangeYourOpinion Extravaganza, but I'll lay it out on the line, and while you don't have to agree, there'll be no grey area about my opinion of them.
But yeah, did not like the AVGN's latest review, I only chuckled once at the six minute mark, and maybe one other time. A lot of my fanbase seemed to share my sentiments. But as I read the thread for it at ScrewAttack, I was a little shocked at how many people loved it. Now I'm sure half of those were because they had suffered anguish at Bart vs. The Space Mutants and Bart vs. The World before, but I'm pretty sure the other half were just blind fanboys who love hearing "fuck, fuck, dookey, dogshit, diarehhia, X is my ass and Y is my balls" over and over.
But that's the difference between our fanbases, I guess. Mine seem to enjoy the more articulate (and sometimes positive) reviews I've been putting out as of late, and his likes swear words.
For what it's worth, his older videos (Pretty much anything Top Gun and backwards) are still great, and I do enjoy watching his console reviews (For the information value). He's just lost that lovin' feelin'. Man I hate it when he does that.
Tonight's feature: A look at Top Gun: The Second Mission. Is it bad? Is it good? Is it a good way to waste five minutes?
I played a pretty good round of Outbreak last night with two pros, The_Unbroken and VR_SOLDIER. This game was actually the reason I bought a PS2. Watch and enjoy.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Damn kids.
Kids these days.
No this isn't the story of the two stupid kids who decided they were gonna be funny and stand in front of my car when I was trying to pull out of a parking lot, then one comes to my door and then I open the door and probably break his hand, then pull off. Although that is a good story.
After reading way too many comments on the Shadow the Hedgehog review trying to defend the game, I just have to make a statement on what I feel is a growing problem in today's gaming culture.
Kids are far too accepting of crap.
For these purposes, a "kid" is defined as "someone younger than 19".
The theory is that if a company makes nothing but bad games and doesn't improve, they die and go to hell. We ran Acclaim out of the game making business (Now some other company goes by the name Acclaim). Acclaim (And child company LJN), maker of such shitty licensed games as The Karate Kid, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Back To The Future, Back To The Future II & III, Airwolf, Knight Rider, WWF Wrestlemania, The Incredible Crash Dummies, Alien 3, Alias, Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure, Jaws, X-Men, Bart Meets Radioactive Man, Bart vs. The World, Krusty's Fun House, Rambo, Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six, Bart vs. The Space Mutants, Total Recall...
I could go on.
The point is we had enough sense to hate those games. Kids today do not have the sense to hate games. People seem to like Shadow the Hedgehog. My 10 year old cousin liked it. Some 16 year old who just commented on the video liked it. People liked it enough to make it a Greatest Hit/Player's Choice.
If you want game companies like Sega to stop cranking out shitty games or stop cranking out games altogether, stop buying them.
Or at least buy them used so EB gets the profit.
No this isn't the story of the two stupid kids who decided they were gonna be funny and stand in front of my car when I was trying to pull out of a parking lot, then one comes to my door and then I open the door and probably break his hand, then pull off. Although that is a good story.
After reading way too many comments on the Shadow the Hedgehog review trying to defend the game, I just have to make a statement on what I feel is a growing problem in today's gaming culture.
Kids are far too accepting of crap.
For these purposes, a "kid" is defined as "someone younger than 19".
The theory is that if a company makes nothing but bad games and doesn't improve, they die and go to hell. We ran Acclaim out of the game making business (Now some other company goes by the name Acclaim). Acclaim (And child company LJN), maker of such shitty licensed games as The Karate Kid, Who Framed Roger Rabbit, Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, Back To The Future, Back To The Future II & III, Airwolf, Knight Rider, WWF Wrestlemania, The Incredible Crash Dummies, Alien 3, Alias, Bill & Ted's Excellent Video Game Adventure, Jaws, X-Men, Bart Meets Radioactive Man, Bart vs. The World, Krusty's Fun House, Rambo, Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six, Bart vs. The Space Mutants, Total Recall...
I could go on.
The point is we had enough sense to hate those games. Kids today do not have the sense to hate games. People seem to like Shadow the Hedgehog. My 10 year old cousin liked it. Some 16 year old who just commented on the video liked it. People liked it enough to make it a Greatest Hit/Player's Choice.
If you want game companies like Sega to stop cranking out shitty games or stop cranking out games altogether, stop buying them.
Or at least buy them used so EB gets the profit.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
FUCKTON OF TERRORISTS
I talked about this game before. Well now I'm gonna talk about it again.
I like this game. There's a lot of things wrong with it but I still like it.
I think I've killed about 500 terrorists so far and I'm about 60% done the game. I found out there's a level select, but...bah, may as well experience the full game at least once.
The camera is awful, but it's a new kind of awful we haven't seen before from Capcom. I can't really describe it, just wait for a video on it.
I probably mentioned it before, but the token security guard character feels like another token security guard I've seen before...
JUST THE FACTS, MA'AM:
Dave Wilson
Mark Wilkins
Coincidence? You be the judge.
In any event, some of you were wondering about the articles that my Monster Party videos were attached to. I'll just link you to the articles on my older blog.
-Monster Party
-Knight Rider
-Silent Service
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Dicks! They're all dicks!
Let's see, who's on PiB's shitlist today...
Quentin Tarantino: Apparently a Kill Bill vol. 3 and 4 have been all but greenlit. For those of you who don't know, I consider Quentin Tarantino to be an absolutely horrible filmmaker. Rather than write it all out again, I'll post what I already wrote on another forum:
Quentin Tarantino does not make "movies". He wanks all over the film, inserts some of the most boring dialogs and scenes, and then puts in some violence expecting people will forgive the boredom for 10 minutes of Matrix-inspired slaughter. And then he just chops the movie in and puts the scenes in at random.
Kill Bill is absolute garbage and I still cannot fathom how anybody could like those movies. And I'm pretty flexible on movies.
(interlude)
Yes, I know what an opinion is. I just can't understand what of that movie is remotely likable. It's a drawn out piece of trash that didn't need four + hours to be told.
The only remotely satisfying part of the movie is the start of vol. 2 where the wedding crowd finally gets what they have coming to them. Who gives a shit what they all think? Everybody already knows they're going to die. The movie should just start with the Fucknut Patrol standing in front of the church.
WOW, FOUR MINUTES OF NOTHING BUT THAT GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT OO OOO, OOO OOO OOO SONG FROM SOME TELECOM COMPANY'S AD. I AM SO GLAD I STOPPED DOING HOMEWORK TO WATCH THIS
OH U JAPAN PERSON SPEAK JAPANESE TOO? I SPEEK JAPANESE KINDA TOO. LONG POINTLESS TEN MINUTE SCENE ABOUT JAPANESE!
JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN
JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN
We GET it, Quentin. You like Japan. You didn't need to waste four hours of my life telling me that. Why don't you move there like every other pretentious asshole who thinks the Japanese would welcome them with open arms.
(interlude)
Pulp Fiction is exempt from my hatrid because it's actually good. It doesn't jump all over the place (A format later used for Sin City), it features actors you know (Which gives it additional kickass value), and the theme of redemption is used well in this movie. Most of the dialog is actually pretty good, and it manages to entertain without getting too violent.
Clearly it was a fluke. I did not care for Reservoir Dogs, and Kill Bill can suck a fart out of my ass.
I don't like him very much.
Stuttering Craig and Handsome Tom/ScrewAttack.com: I don't like them very much. They're hypocrites. They go around proclaiming that you can't put their videos on YouTube because they'll lose money, yet they went ahead and pirated the entire movie of "The Wizard" for their site, even putting in their own Rifftrax ripoff commentary, which is lost profits for NBC Universal.
Their content isn't all that great either. AVGN isn't as fun as he used to be, all his remarks are just cliche now. Captain S (Perhaps their only good show) is over for now. Their podcast got boring. All they do now is crank out little Video Game Vaults for random games and make lousy Top Ten Lists, and both of those you could watch at GameTrailers without even visiting their site.
Plus they leeched $1,600 off their fanbase so they could go and be extras in Uwe Boll's Far Cry. What, Viacom doesn't pay them enough money that they have to suck it off their viewers so they can stand in a crowd and be on screen for maybe five seconds?
I don't know much about the movie business, but I know they generally pay YOU to be the extra and not the other way around. Just show up when they do a casting call for extras. I know Tim Buckley had the chance to apply to be an extra in Indy 4, which leads me to the next guy on my shitlist...
Tim Buckley/Ctrl+Alt+Del: He sucks, and his comic isn't funny. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt over the allegations that he sent naked pictures of himself to an underage forumgoer, and then banned everybody who had remotely anything to do with it, he's still a dick. He doesn't appreciate his fanbase at all, they're just a means to get paid. I haven't so much as smirked at a comic of his in weeks, unless he's changed the comic from a comedy into a drama.
I figured out his latest story arc, which many have begun to call "THE BOGART CODE". In this arc, Ethan (Tim Buckley in cartoon form) has opened his own church, the "Church of Gaming", so those of the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faith are going to kill him.
The Church of Gaming represents Tim Buckley. The other religions is the growing number of people who have realized his comic isn't funny and is just a mash-up of stolen PA and VGCats gags, and stupid punchlines. Except, since Tim is writing the comic, the Church of Gaming (i.e. Tim) will come out on top and everyone will love it (The opposite of people and his comic).
When this arc is over, I'm going to have to fake an alternate version where Ethan dies. Of course, I'll have to be vague about the whole thing so as to keep from being sued. He's very protective of his meal tickets.
Also, I hate new Sonic, but you all know that already.
The AVGN isn't really on this shitlist, but I should mention that I think his game reviewing career is coming to an end. Since he went to work for Viacom with ScrewAttack, he's been castrated in what he can do with his videos since he can't put any licensed stuff in his videos apart from the game itself. Plus the whole random swear words has gotten old (Which is why you don't hear me invent swear words so often in mine). And now he just goes after topical games instead of really awful ones. If a movie is coming out that is even slightly related to a video game or event, he's going to review it (SEE: Spider-Man, Silver Surfer, Die Hard, Independence Day). Frankly I'm surprised he didn't go after the famicom Transformers game. It's not like he couldn't fake owning it.
Yes, you can curse at a game that sucks, but it can't all be about the cursing. And it doesn't have to be funny, it can be a very serious pitch or it can be epic (As the next review shall be).
The following is a review by an up-and-coming reviewer called IrateGamer. He reviews Ghosts N Goblins for both the NES and Arcade. Not only is he as clever as AVGN used to be, he has amazing production values.
Quentin Tarantino: Apparently a Kill Bill vol. 3 and 4 have been all but greenlit. For those of you who don't know, I consider Quentin Tarantino to be an absolutely horrible filmmaker. Rather than write it all out again, I'll post what I already wrote on another forum:
Quentin Tarantino does not make "movies". He wanks all over the film, inserts some of the most boring dialogs and scenes, and then puts in some violence expecting people will forgive the boredom for 10 minutes of Matrix-inspired slaughter. And then he just chops the movie in and puts the scenes in at random.
Kill Bill is absolute garbage and I still cannot fathom how anybody could like those movies. And I'm pretty flexible on movies.
(interlude)
Yes, I know what an opinion is. I just can't understand what of that movie is remotely likable. It's a drawn out piece of trash that didn't need four + hours to be told.
The only remotely satisfying part of the movie is the start of vol. 2 where the wedding crowd finally gets what they have coming to them. Who gives a shit what they all think? Everybody already knows they're going to die. The movie should just start with the Fucknut Patrol standing in front of the church.
WOW, FOUR MINUTES OF NOTHING BUT THAT GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT OO OOO, OOO OOO OOO SONG FROM SOME TELECOM COMPANY'S AD. I AM SO GLAD I STOPPED DOING HOMEWORK TO WATCH THIS
OH U JAPAN PERSON SPEAK JAPANESE TOO? I SPEEK JAPANESE KINDA TOO. LONG POINTLESS TEN MINUTE SCENE ABOUT JAPANESE!
JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN
JAPAN JAPAN JAPAN
We GET it, Quentin. You like Japan. You didn't need to waste four hours of my life telling me that. Why don't you move there like every other pretentious asshole who thinks the Japanese would welcome them with open arms.
(interlude)
Pulp Fiction is exempt from my hatrid because it's actually good. It doesn't jump all over the place (A format later used for Sin City), it features actors you know (Which gives it additional kickass value), and the theme of redemption is used well in this movie. Most of the dialog is actually pretty good, and it manages to entertain without getting too violent.
Clearly it was a fluke. I did not care for Reservoir Dogs, and Kill Bill can suck a fart out of my ass.
I don't like him very much.
Stuttering Craig and Handsome Tom/ScrewAttack.com: I don't like them very much. They're hypocrites. They go around proclaiming that you can't put their videos on YouTube because they'll lose money, yet they went ahead and pirated the entire movie of "The Wizard" for their site, even putting in their own Rifftrax ripoff commentary, which is lost profits for NBC Universal.
Their content isn't all that great either. AVGN isn't as fun as he used to be, all his remarks are just cliche now. Captain S (Perhaps their only good show) is over for now. Their podcast got boring. All they do now is crank out little Video Game Vaults for random games and make lousy Top Ten Lists, and both of those you could watch at GameTrailers without even visiting their site.
Plus they leeched $1,600 off their fanbase so they could go and be extras in Uwe Boll's Far Cry. What, Viacom doesn't pay them enough money that they have to suck it off their viewers so they can stand in a crowd and be on screen for maybe five seconds?
I don't know much about the movie business, but I know they generally pay YOU to be the extra and not the other way around. Just show up when they do a casting call for extras. I know Tim Buckley had the chance to apply to be an extra in Indy 4, which leads me to the next guy on my shitlist...
Tim Buckley/Ctrl+Alt+Del: He sucks, and his comic isn't funny. Even giving him the benefit of the doubt over the allegations that he sent naked pictures of himself to an underage forumgoer, and then banned everybody who had remotely anything to do with it, he's still a dick. He doesn't appreciate his fanbase at all, they're just a means to get paid. I haven't so much as smirked at a comic of his in weeks, unless he's changed the comic from a comedy into a drama.
I figured out his latest story arc, which many have begun to call "THE BOGART CODE". In this arc, Ethan (Tim Buckley in cartoon form) has opened his own church, the "Church of Gaming", so those of the Christian, Jewish, and Muslim faith are going to kill him.
The Church of Gaming represents Tim Buckley. The other religions is the growing number of people who have realized his comic isn't funny and is just a mash-up of stolen PA and VGCats gags, and stupid punchlines. Except, since Tim is writing the comic, the Church of Gaming (i.e. Tim) will come out on top and everyone will love it (The opposite of people and his comic).
When this arc is over, I'm going to have to fake an alternate version where Ethan dies. Of course, I'll have to be vague about the whole thing so as to keep from being sued. He's very protective of his meal tickets.
Also, I hate new Sonic, but you all know that already.
The AVGN isn't really on this shitlist, but I should mention that I think his game reviewing career is coming to an end. Since he went to work for Viacom with ScrewAttack, he's been castrated in what he can do with his videos since he can't put any licensed stuff in his videos apart from the game itself. Plus the whole random swear words has gotten old (Which is why you don't hear me invent swear words so often in mine). And now he just goes after topical games instead of really awful ones. If a movie is coming out that is even slightly related to a video game or event, he's going to review it (SEE: Spider-Man, Silver Surfer, Die Hard, Independence Day). Frankly I'm surprised he didn't go after the famicom Transformers game. It's not like he couldn't fake owning it.
Yes, you can curse at a game that sucks, but it can't all be about the cursing. And it doesn't have to be funny, it can be a very serious pitch or it can be epic (As the next review shall be).
The following is a review by an up-and-coming reviewer called IrateGamer. He reviews Ghosts N Goblins for both the NES and Arcade. Not only is he as clever as AVGN used to be, he has amazing production values.
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