Tuesday, September 20, 2011

No Capcom, -you- are the stereotype.

I may not be qualified to discuss fighting games but I am qualified to discuss Resident Evil. Played them all, own most of them, will probably do an Outbreak video close to Operation Raccoon City launch. Anyway:

This probably won't have any kind of intelligible point to it but I just wanted to get it out in text so I could understand the kind of epic level stupid that Capcom has just finished pulling (and it's not Mega Man related!), and you can make whatever you want of it.

So, here's a mini timeline:

Sep 9, 2011 3:30 AM - Kotaku posts a "leaked" Resident Evil: Revelations TGS trailer showing footage of 'Rachel', a mop-headed giant-chested special ops-type person who freaks at the first sight of a monster (someone in the RE universe is new to this?), loses her composure, and runs away. Trailer feels incomplete.

Sep 9, 2011 11:20 AM - Kotaku, staving off boredom, gives a commenter an article asking "is Capcom getting lazier with its creation of minor characters in its Resident Evil franchise?" Discussion ensues over Japan's culture, female stereotypes, and overall creates buzz for the game.

Sept 20, 2011 2:37 PM - Capcom Unity member posts article saying "I'm happy to report that she's dead!" with link to FULL TGS trailer (on official Capcom YT account) in which Rachel is a complete fish out of water who gets a death somewhere between Kenneth and Brad.

So, she was just a pair of gazongas led to the slaughter. She exited stage left (in a body bag) and served no real purpose whatsoever.

Jill calls her a "survivor" (she witnesses the death), but wherever the game takes place, the context of this Rachel character is that she was some kind of special ops type (the Rebecca Chambers kind) who did just about every thing you don't do in a horror movie. She's not some innocent bystander who found a wetsuit, she's actively talking to someone about the situation on a radio before she's attacked. There's no reason to highlight whatever the hell she's doing because the main character never witnesses the entirety of it, and marketing an hourglass with melons getting the shit killed out of it is probably about as low as you can get in marketing without being the EA Dante's Inferno marketing department.


Now I'm willing to bet that it's the standard Resident Evil 'gathering combat data' excuse where someone with no talent is intentionally killed that the series has used over and over again and will probably lead the plot over to HUNK, but even so, she's got her jugs hanging out and her hair cemented over her eyes. It's the standard Sniper Wolf-type character but with none of the talent to compensate. Granted, Rebecca Chambers doesn't have any business being in a special ops team like STARS either, but she didn't show up for work that day dressed like she wanted twenties stuffed into her clothes.

And I know this is viral because A) it's the year 2011 and B) Capcom is absolutely terrible at grassroots/astroturfing and this sort of stupid shit is right up their alley. Capcom would have you believe that they dolled up that teaser trailer with Rachel in it being all la la laaa, and then drummed up that full trailer in which she's basically killed for amusement as a response to the public outcry. Of course not. Capcom put Rachel out there because two giant beacons are a great way to get instant buzz. They fully expected people to get pissed over it, waited a brief period of time, and then released the trailer as if to say "we're listening to your concerns!"

Capcom has had fanservice characters in Resident Evil. They've had scenes in which irrelevant characters get killed. They might have even had scenes in which fanservice characters get killed (example after posting: Excella's demise in RE5). But they don't MARKET THOSE!

Or maybe she's not really in the game. Maybe it's some kind of stupid parody in which Jill, who is usually pretty modest in the fanservice department, stumbles upon a really exaggerated version of herself whose appearance and conduct are completely detrimental and counter-productive to the situation at hand, and the whole experience is meant to lampoon modern action gaming stereotypes and what passes for horror today.

No, Capcom, YOU are the stereotype. You're a company that's manufacturing controversy for publicity's sake and then shitting out a planned response as an act of contrition. You have no business trying to gloss over the fact that you're a Japanese Activision. Just release your stupid little handheld game and quit being cute about it, because you're as transparent as a DVD eco case.

Just stop.


Sunday, September 7, 2008


And I just bought a Tom Brady pro bowl jersey too.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Sonic and the what?

Ok, so in typical Sega fashion, they're working on another Wii game in tandem with their usual console game which I'll reserve judgment on for the time being.

However, the new Wii game is called, and I am not making this up, Sonic and the Black Knight. And the gimmick is that Sonic is wielding a sword.




Ok, so Sonic, the guy with the razor sharp shit on him who runs around slicing and dicing enemies by rolling into them...and you gave him a sword? I think that just topped the retardation of giving Shadow guns.

Also, review this week.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

For the record

The MG NES review was finished yesterday and uploaded to Revver early in the morning. They approved it around 11:30. But it hasn't made it's way online yet.


Wednesday, May 28, 2008


My overpriced webcam just bought the farm.

Well, I'm going to Futureshop tomorrow to buy Rambo IV on BluRay, I'll see if I can find anything decent.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

The Collection As It Stands Right Now

Mostly just a showcase for the new camera. You can't make out all the titles in the first shot, but if you own the games you'll recognize the end labels.